i can feel this frustration building up inside my chest right now but i am still thankful that i feel for the most part fine and that my bodys working.
i got out last night and danced under florescent lights and felt good.

this older couple was sitting across the restaurant from me. The man filled the coffee mugs and began to carefully bring them to the table without spilling, walking slowly, keeping his eyes down.

When i glanced over there a bit later, they were both just about to sip out of their mugs. With their arms and lips perfectly in sync with each other it looked like if they had been a foot or two closer they would have been kissing.

instead they just sipped quietly and did not touch.

i feel heavy right now.
do you ever feel that way? when youre confused or upset with yourself or someone or knowing that someone you care about is really leaving or wanting to help someone so badly, but you can't decide if it's your place or not, and seriously wondering what to do with yourself because this supposed purpose isnt unfolding?- there is just this physical heavyness that makes my head hang and my shoulders feel like dropping.

Originally uploaded by cievenn.

the little boy and i did this last saturday when the pavement felt hot under our feet and the backs of our necks got a little sunburned.

my skin tastes like salt.