one year ago,

I claimed I was in a box [ ]
(never opened, kept shut because I wanted it to be closed)

then there were months in between of Falling In and Out of, and also lots of quiet and alone and then some white sheets and a little water and a bit of sleeping on the floor and being spoken to in french while completeing full circles (but not until just lately,) singing in and never playing out, being afraid and not being afraid of spiders and lying, lying, and being lied to. feeling helpless and being inspired in little bits and pieces, falling apart and being put back together.
thats not even close to everything , if anything.



and then there is now.


0 (last year)

0 (now)

(one year from now ) 0

we have no idea what's really going on in other people's lives;
everyone has secrets.

zombie lady's just trying to get her head on straight.

going through the motions, going through the motions.

love her or leave her!
love me or leave me alone.

and all of a sudden this huge horrible feeling just settled in my stomach.
oh god, i really hope it isnt like this tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.

where;s my screaming room?
where;s my spot to just stop and thinkg.

i dont have it here.