it's a quiet day.
raining softly. i wanted to say the rain seems smaller today. i feel small today.
a whisper of an afternoon.
you know when you don't feel like you could possibly laugh,
and when you do it's surprising and doesnt seem like it belongs to you.

i think part of the reason why i don't like coming back to school
is that it somehow tends to make me feel inadequate. points out the flaws that i have and makes the ones i already knew i had seem more pronounced. it's frustrating and self-absorbed, but not a hollow feeling, which in a way is better i guess. it's not nothing.

but it's also good to be back.
here in this house
with the girls that were sorely missed when i was back at home.
and i do learn something new every day even if it cant be expressed in words.
every single person can teach you something
i honestly believe that
even if it's how not to be an asshole.

i teach my first class tomorrow.

the Housesit.

"come over to my house"
"your house or the house-sit house?"
"my house!"
"the one on linden?"
"yes."
"that's not your house"
(( it is right now))


The room i stayed in and (above above) the hallway leading up to it.

this is juante. he kept me company for two of the days i was at the house. we talked in British accents, tried to do wheelies, and ate peanut butter and jelly together. I told him he would be a heart breaker when he was older, and i know he will be. he seemed to think the opposite though.


I'm not sure why I didn't take a photograph of the house. it was beautiful and the backyard smelled like my grandparent's house in chicago. I made dinner and breakfast either alone or with justin or tim with different ingrediants from the garden (basil,tomatoes) and we always ate on the porch. I spent a lot of time on the porch watching people walk by (that's how i met Juante) and reading.

I rode my bike around the city too, and i wish i could do that always.
everything is so close.

&
yesterday
the sky was on fire.