Saturday, September 19, 2009

i don't know if it's funny or heartily depressing
how quickly things change.
or, rather how slowly everything seems to move
but all of a sudden, you feel everything is completely different.
so, it's not fast at all. just a slow moving picture with a
flash flash stop in the middle of things. and an oh.
a breathing period.

I'm not sure if it's a choice i'm making, or if it's everything
else that seems to make it's mind up for me.

i wish i was stronger than i was.
but these emotions have their way.
a rocking jagged way of screwing me over.

i always have the back and forth
of thinking i'm in control of things.
as if, as IF i made a kind of move,
then things, THINGS would be OK.
but i would never make a move,
because that's not how i am.

i'm shaking, it's so cold.

the love has been lost.
and we mourn.


Anonymous said...

"It rains all the time...keeps raining all the time...stormy just can't get yourself together...poor self keeps raining all the keeps raining even when the sun is's raining while the sun is shining..."

"In the secret cave of the heart, two are seated by life's fountain. The separate ego drinks of the sweet and bitter stuff, liking the sweet, disliking the bitter, while the supreme Self drinks sweet and bitter neither liking this nor disliking that. The ego gropes in darkness, while the Self lives in light...May we light the fire of Nachiketa that burns out the ego and enables us to pass from fearful fragmentation to fearless fullness in the changeless whole...when one lacks discrimination and his mind is undisciplined, the senses run hither and thither like wild horses. But they obey the rein like trained horses when one has discrimination and has made the mind one-pointed. Those who lack discrimination, with little control over their thoughts and far from pure, reach not the pure state of immortality but wander from death to death..."

"The power of the dead is that we think they see us all the time. The dead have a presence. Is there a level of energy composed solely of the dead? They are also in the ground, of course, asleep and crumbling. Perhaps we are what they dream. May the days be aimless. Let the seasons drift. Do not advance the action according to a plan."

In other words, why don't you turn again?

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