was i that obvious?
i'm a stupid girl.

this morning i was up at 7:15 and everything was quiet, i sat down on the auditorium steps and the thunder rolled and the lightning flashed, but only once.
i miss laughing.

i'm coming home this weeked, but it doesn't make much of a difference. just in directions.
i guess i'll go to the bay, and see the irondequoit house.
and look for a hooded sweatshirt because i've given mine all away.

and sit on the porch.
oh and get apple cider from the farm market down the street.

so i almost slipped down the stairs twice today, but i don't really mind, because even if i fell i think it would have woken me up a little. These last few days ive just been going through the motions, taking more showers, and eating badly. my rib still hurts from forgetting to push mybreaks (where was my head?) and accidentally running into the wall. Really i am amazed at how my body and my head don't match up some (most) of the time.

You know that feeling that shoots through your body when you bite tinfoil?
i just felt like that now,
and i did on saturday too.

my days feel so long, and i am alone in my room this weekend.
i need a notebook to write down things i hear other people say or for what i see, because i can hardly even remember yesterday unless i tell myself to.

i have a sunflower (shared.)
public market tomorrow afternoon.
the bus is free from here to rochester.

wants:
notebook, red peppers, better singing voice, to stop biting my nails because it hurts my teeth, musical instruments, to not feel llike i mess up all the time, to fall in love, to know why things happen (like science,) to be alone, to know when to stop talking, a healthy plant on my windowsill, to get an A in biology, to hug you really tight and say everything will be okay.

needs:
blankets
these boys who write songs that i listen to at night
"A History of Love"
toothbrush
coffee