sometimes i wonder at the smallness of things.
whether or not something i do today will matter in an hour, a month, three years.

and if it matters in this moment, is that enough?
if it feels good right now, is that okay?

to me, it usually isn't. and when i do anything impulsively i tend to want to kick myself in the teeth after i think about it.
because i will think about it.
again &again & again.